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Five-Line Friday-Giggles and Gasps
Where authors and readers meet to share and read romance novel snippets!
Five-Line Friday RULES
- Five lines of your current work in progress, new release, soon-to-be-released … whatever. (Do keep it as close to five sentencesas you can.)
- You are welcome to post buy links too.
- PG (I don’t have a warning on my blog about content, so it has to be appropriate for all I will delete comments that aren’t appropriate or offensive to some audiences. (Sorry.)
Share something grin or gasp-worthy today!
I just posted a funny excerpt from Schemes Gone Amiss (Conundrums of the Misses Culpepper) in my newsletter and thought it would be fun to share a tidbit here too.
Blythe Culpepper has arrived at her first fancy ball and has caught the regard of a handsome gentleman.
And her breasts?
Why, under his appreciative regard, the dratted things swelled and pebbled proudly. Quite forward of them given their unimpressive size. Warmth skidded up the angles of her cheeks, and she averted her gaze.
Hound’s teeth.
First time she’d ever blushed or had her bosoms betray her. Next thing she knew, the perky duo would scramble over the top of her bodice’s gold-threaded lace and wave a jaunty hello.
Naughty, I know!
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LOL, Collette. Here’s a tidbit from To Kiss a Rake. It’s two of the secondary characters, Melinda’s horrible grandmother and Miles’s forthright Aunt Juliana, Lady Paulding.
“My dear Maria,” Lady Paulding cried. “Welcome, welcome to this happy occasion.” She grinned broadly. “You must know, dear Melinda, that your grandmother and I are old cronies. We weathered scandals together in our giddy youth.”
“Good day, Juliana.” Grandmama submitted stiffly to an embrace. She didn’t even glance at Melinda. “Still talking nonsense, I see.”
“Still hiding your head in the sand, I see,” Lady Paulding retorted. “What’s the point of behaving badly if you don’t remember it loudly and to the embarrassment of those around you?”
http://www.amazon.com/Kiss-Rake-Scandalous-Kisses-ebook/dp/B00ZAY07OK/
I loved that scene, Barbara!
I love these excerpts, Barbara and Collette!
Here’s mine, from my Christmas novella, Rosalyn’s Ring:
Hamish groaned at the ache in his head, but the humiliation of being bested by a half-pint of a woman pained him more. He had been picking his naked arse off the floor when he heard the door slam, and it was another ten minutes to rouse a servant, and twenty minutes more to locate a spare key. “You could have warned me about her, man,” he said. “What horse is she riding?”
“No horse, milord. Clarence.” Joseph sent him a gap-toothed grin. “Always partial to her, he was, and vice-versa.”
“Aye, no wonder,” Hamish muttered, feeling himself a kindred soul of Clarence, but relieved that she was riding the sure-footed mule.
Rosalyn’s Ring has a brand new cover for the Christmas holidays, and it’s available on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Ao0oYG.
Have a great Friday, everyone!
OH, I want to see the cover!!
Those a pretty funny, folks. Here’s one from A Dangerous Nativity (a novella in Mistletoe, Marriage, and Mayhem)
“Cath? Cath? Come and see how the piglet looks in Freddy’s old baby bonnet,” Randy called from outside.
Catherine clamped a hand over her mouth to suppress a laugh at the picture Randy’s words created.
Will’s laughing eyes made her drop her hand to smile back.
Before she could think, he dared a quick kiss, thrust her deeper into shadows, and stepped out.
“I am looking for her, too, Randy. “Let’s try behind the house.”
You can find it on Amazon and elsewhere
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B014OI7M54/
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/1122610733
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1036941053
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/mistletoe-marriage-and-mayhem-a-bluestocking-belles-collection
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/573400
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/5711740
I can picture the pigs in the bonnets!
Thank you, Collette!
This is from my new release, Escape to Gettis…and Love. A time travel romance from Viking Ireland to modern day Gettysburg.
“Tell this Colin Bourke we come in peace.” Joren glared when David gave him an incredulous look. “They may have many of the shoots you spoke of. We come in peace to take back what is rightfully ours. If they object, then we can no longer be peaceful.”
Oh my gosh. I time travel Viking tale? Sounds amazing.
Rats, I forgot the links. 🙁
Createspace: https://www.createspace.com/5809870
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B016TQ4RSY
Smashwords
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/586117
b&N http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/escape-to-gettis-and-love-gerri-bowen/1122881223?ean=2940151105309
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/search?Query=escape+to+Gettis…and+love
that was fun, Collette!
You know my humor, Denise!
What fun your pieces are! I have a passage in Farewell to Kindness I’d like to share. My heroine, who has been forced out of her house by a collapsing roof, has asked the hero if her daughter can bring her pet to stay. The pet is a young rooster, and has recently one a prize at the local pet show. (In the early 19th century, rooster was an American term, and male fowl were called by the same word that was a vulgar term for a male appendage. Not that ladies would know anything about that! The second term became so common that by Victorian times the term for a juvenile male, cockerel, became used for a male of any age.)
“Rede has always needed a prizewinning cock,” Major Redepenning assured her. “Have you not, Rede? It’s a great opportunity for you.”
The Major found his own remark very funny, though Anne wasn’t sure why.
She took another sip of the sherry. “She thinks he will be lonely outside by himself. So I said I did not think you would mind letting him bring his favourite wives.”
Major Redepenning made a remark about active cocks being all the better for several wives. Mr Bexley was making odd noises, both hands over his face.
“Of course,” Rede said politely. His voice was a little strained.
http://judeknightauthor.com/books/farewell-to-kindness/
This is fantastic, Jude!
I have to admit to making Daisy’s pet a rooster just so that I could use the pun, which Anne refers to again when she realises the double meaning of the word.