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Mini Muse Monday RSVPs-A Thing of the Past?

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Last week was the first week for Mini Muse Monday, and I was pleasantly surprised at the wonderful reception.

Thank you!!

This week’s prompt was brought about by a series of events occurring over the past few weeks regarding RSVPs.

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An RSVP, as I’m sure most of you know, is a request for a response when you’ve been invited to an event. The term comes from the French phrase, Répondez s’il vous plaît, literally “Reply if you please” but, the “if  you please” part isn’t really relevant.  You are expected to respond. 

Best etiquette suggests that anyone receiving an invitation with RSVP should respond, and do so promptly, within one to two days. If that’s not possible, then certainly make sure the RSVP arrives by the date the host indicated. 

Okay, here’s why I think not only have people reinterpreted RSVP to mean, “Respond if I feel like it” but think it’s perfectly fine to show up to an event they haven’t responded to, or worse yet, not make an appearance at an event they said they would attend.

I know someone who cancelled, not one, but two gatherings this summer because no one bothered to respond to the invitations, even though there was a clear RSVP by date given. Then, some of the guest were surprised the event was cancelled because they’d planned on attending? Really? 

I also know of an instance where an event was cancelled, but the hostess only notified those who said they planned on attending. Imagine the surprise of the people who showed up on the given date only to find no one at home because they were all at a funeral. Yes, people actually showed up, but the hostess had left a note saying if the guests had bothered to RSVP, they’d know the event had been cancelled due to a death. Some of the people were really ticked off. Tough. 

I attended an outdoor wedding recently where there was standing room only and not enough tables, chairs, or food for all the guests, because a truck load showed up without RSVPing. Some of the guests who had RSVPed, ended up leaving and the inconsiderate clods that gifted the rest of us with their appearance, were clueless as to their rudeness. In fact, some of the guests hadn’t been sent invitations at all, but that’s a whole other blog.  

On the opposite side of that boorishness is a wedding this summer that was cancelled and no guests were notified. I found out via Facebook. Not acceptable. 

I hosted a book signing yesterday, and invitations went out via more than one venue, each with a RSVP of some sort.Of the over 75 guests I invited, less than fifteen responded, and only five of those were confirmations. How does a hostess plan food, seating, or giveaways when they don’t know how many guests will actually show up? BTW, I had more than five. The book signing was a bit different though, because I expected guests other than those I’d invited because the venue and other guest had invited people which was wonderful. 

Then there are those people who say they are coming and don’t.

Sometimes, as in the case of weddings and pay per person events such as special site birthday parties, that means the hosts are out the money for the no-show guest. Several months ago, I read that in Britain, parents sent a bill to the parents of another child who had RSVPed to a birthday party invitation, saying their child would attend, and then he didn’t. The birthday child’s parents had to pay a hefty per-head fee, and even though the guest didn’t attend, they were still obligated to pay.

If you RSVP and something unavoidable comes up (not something you decide you’d rather do) then at least have the courtesy to notify the hostess immediately. Also, if you don’ t RSVP by the date requested, consider yourself uninvited. You cannot show up. The hostess had a reason for asking you to RSVP. 

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So, am I too old fashioned? Have RSVPs gone the way of paper cards and invitations, or even hand-written correspondence, or are they still necessary?

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