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Mini-Muse Monday How Much is Too Much?
Things you never needed to know about your favorite authors.
Several posts I’ve seen around social media this last week got me to thinking, which can be a dangerous thing. Actually, if I’m completely honest, I got irritated more than once, hid a few posts from my news feed, and even unfollowed a couple of people who I felt were outright offensive.
Anyway, I know that I enjoy getting glimpses into other authors’ lives, especially those things that enable me to know the real person better. Whether they share some good news, something about their family, a humorous meme, or at times, sad news–a serious illness, the death of a loved one or pet–I appreciate their willingness to be transparent.
However, how much sharing is appropriate, or perhaps, the question ought to me, How Much is Too Much?
I mean, do you really want to know if I wear Spanx or am having a hot flash? Okay, I’ll admit, that might be funny, depending on how I present it.
Do you care if I can’t abide mushrooms or liars? Do I want to know if an author suffers from Irritable Bowl Syndrome? Maybe.
What if we go deeper, and and author’s personal convictions conflict with yours, does that make their books less enjoyable?
I know that I’ve seen a few rather, shall we say, vehement posts by a couple of authors that I’m sure offended a great number of people. As a result, I won’t read their work (I didn’t to start with) but I wonder if they lost readers as a result of their outspokenness.
I don’t particularly want to know an author’s political views (or anyone’s for that matter) especially when the post is derogatory or insulting. I enjoy inspirational quotes and will often like or retweet things of that nature. I understand not everyone has the same value or belief systems and that’s fine until I see nasty, mean-spirited attacks, in which case, I’ll likely quietly unfriend a person, even though I wasn’t the target.
As an author, I don’t think readers need to know my inner-most thoughts on everything. Yes,I love my readers and want to build relationships with them, but sometimes too much information and sharing can cause rifts or worse, create enemies even amongst close friends and family.
Occasionally, I’m shocked, or even appalled at what authors share. Perhaps they are bolder than I. I am an introvert, after all.
I’m curious. Can you ever know to much about your favorite author? Would your opinion of them change depending on what you discovered, or is their writing what counts the most?
Can you share a thing or two (no names please!) that you were surprised an author shared?
Personally I like hearing about an author’s life although some things can be a little too much. I don’t mind hearing about their illness – sometimes talking to others can help – even if it’s just to “say it out loud”. I know for me it helped to have someone to use as a sounding board when dealing with breast cancer; not necessarily for advice but just to listen. Plus it lets me lend support when they need it. But some things the less graphic detail the better(ie: irritable bowel syndrome definitely leave the details out please! – maybe they have some words of advice for others who suffer).
I respect everyone’s political & religious views but don’t try & force your view on me. I’d prefer not to see it on social media. Too many things can be taken out of context. And like you, I will quietly unfriend someone who is extremely derogatory & offensive.
Would I quit reading an author because of their views – it would depend on 1)how well I liked the author & their books; 2)they were extremely offensive and/or I felt they were trying to force those views on me.
I know when I had my breast cancer scare last spring, my readers were wonderfully supportive, more so than some of my family and friends.
I agree about details of illnesses, unless you’re a really good friend or family member. Even then, keep it out of the public arena.
I agree with your post. A little politics and even religion is okay, as long as it is not mean spirited and in your face. I personally believe that it is not so much to do with religion, as having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I believe there are ways to promote that tastefully, for want of a better word. I did not vote for Obama and will be glad when he is gone, however, I agree that social media can handle careful posts about helping our police and military, not hurting them, etc., but people get too carried away with the rest. As for illness and other things, I do agree that some talk of it can be helpful for the person and the followers, but don’t get too descriptive unless you private message or something of that nature. Of course there are always things that don’t need to be said. Once it is in the digital world, it is out there forever. If I really liked an author’s books, but not what was said on their social media sites, I would probably read their books but stop following their sites.
Very well said!
I’m sorry to say that just today I unfriended someone for a pretty unpleasant post, and though it wasn’t directed at me personally, I don’t want to associate with someone who feels the need to be that blatantly hateful.
I know people have strong feelings about many things, but I dislike stereotyping or generalizing.
I think some authors don’t have separate pages–one as an author, and one as a personal page. Or, they forget and have the same friends on both. And, then there are some who have both, but post the same thing on both pages. The line is blurred with real friends and reader friends. And some reader friends become real friends. Even on a personal page, if one has invited readers as friends, one still needs to keep up the public persona. If the personal page is purely personal, then that’s a different story. However, as a public persona, one **should** take a more neutral position, especially on political and some moral stances, so as to not offend or push certain agendas. I don’t mean it as censorship, but as being sensitive to others’ beliefs.
I think social media has blurred people’s filters for what to share, when to share, and with whom to share. Oversharing, especially things not appropriate for the public person should be avoided. Not that I’m the moral police, but it’s a more tactful way to communicate and promote oneself.
I’ve tried to be better about what I post on my personal page so that I’m practicing what I preach. 😉
Denise
You hit upon a very important point, IMHO, Denise, and that is considering other people. I personally hate political correctness, but I’m not going to be deliberately rude or offensive.
An author’s public persona does need to be treated carefully.
Thanks, Collette. You and the commenters have said most of what I could say. But allow me to add a few more points.
How relevant are the author’s opinions and experience to her writing? If, say, she’s a cancer survivor and writes a book about about surviving cancer, I can take more details about her illness, treatments, and the impact of all this on her life than I would if it had nothing to do with her work.
Likewise, if she endured political, religious, or cultural violence/oppression in another country or another time, and it informs her writings, I’d be more tolerant of her views regarding these matters, even if they conflict with my own.
I believe in the First Amendment. Citizens of my country have the right to express themselves. They should everywhere. But as the saying goes, “Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins”.
So folks, go ahead and sound off on social media about what’s bugging you. But if possible, try to throw some light on the subject rather than just generate heat.
Once you’ve gotten the matter off your chest, post a funny cat meme or a favorite recipe or a cool YouTube link. Don’t dwell on your personal problems or ideology. Too many posts like that are a quick way to get blocked or unfriended.
And if someone posts TMI or airs views too offensive to tolerate—well, that’s best dealt with on a case-by-case basis.
I absolutely love that expression, Mary Anne! I also appreciate what you said about getting the matter off your chest and moving on. We all have things that bug us from time to time; I’m no exception. But someone who regularly vents might find themselves with a diminishing audience.
Interesting post. It depends on what is being shared. I don’t appreciate political view points, religious beliefs, or anything to that nature. I usually ignore posts like that or hide it from my timeline. If it gets too ugly, I unfriend. Everyone has freedom of speech, but there is only so much I can take. It definitely does not need to be blasted on social media. I believe those kinds of views should stay private. I will not read an author’s books if they (as a person) offend me in any way.