An Author’s Perspective on Murphy’s Law
The day you decide to be a slob, you will have company or have to leave the house. Guaranteed.
What I want the world to see. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
What you’re going to get if I don’t have notice. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Today, I’m going to focus on one specific aspect of Murphy’s Law as it applies to me as an author.
One of the things I like the most about being an author is that I work from home. That means, I don’t have to do my hair, put on my make-up, or wear something other than sweat or yoga pants. In the days before Lasik surgery, that meant I didn’t put my contact lenses in either.
I do run a comb through my hair and brush my teeth. Even I have standards.
I’ll schlup up to my writing room, plop Ayva on my lap, wrapped her in blankies (Yes, two. The dog has me trained) log on to my computer, and I’m off to delve into the creative recesses of my brain. On a really motivated day, I leave my jammie pants on.
Why not?
No one but the dogs, and maybe the neighbors if they’re watching when I run down to let the chickens out at 5:30 am, will see me anyway.
Inevitably, on the days I look my absolute worst, one of two things happens:
One: Someone comes to the door unexpectedly. Depending on who it is, I’ll hide upstairs and pretend I’m not home, or yank on a pair of jeans. Hey, I might look like a slob, but at least I got dressed before answering the door.
I should pause here for a moment to explain that most people outside my immediate family have never had the shock of seeing me without make-up. The afore-mentioned Lasik surgery required me to go an entire week without eye make-up and my fellow teachers were freaked out the entire time.
No, I don’t look cute, like she does. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Okay, back to what happens when I’m at my worst.
Two: I’ll get a frantic phone call from my hubby or one of my three kids that requires me to leave the house immediately. Yes, without putting my face on or doing my hair. By-the-way, when I don’t style my hair, I look weird. Honestly.
I have what a neurologist called, “an odd-shaped skull” though the chap was gracious enough to say I was too old to have my head surgically altered.
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
But, I’ve digressed again.
So, because I’m a loving mother and wife, and I don’t want my son who’s just been in a car accident and is loopy from a concussion, to have to wait an extra thirty minutes at Starbucks for Mommy to put her self together, I grab my sunglasses, a hat, slap on some lip gloss, and go. (Actually, that time, I didn’t bother with the lip gloss or hat.)
Now, before you start judging me for being vain, I’m not really. I just prefer to be a little bit put together. My concern is wholly for those who encounter me le naturel. I don’t want to be responsible for shortening anyone’s life.
I envy women who look fresh-faced and wholesome without make-up. All they have to do is run a brush through their glossy mane of hair, and it looks spectacular. Alas, I am not one of them.
Am I the only one self-conscious about this? Maybe it’s a personality flaw. How about you? Have you ever been embarrassed to answer the door or go out in public?
Add me to the list. I’m one of those people who are honestly doing community service by wearing makeup when I go out. 😀
LOL, Glenda!!
Oh, frequently. Too often my morning at-work uniform is cozy robe over nightie, and morning at-work somehow goes on to the early or (dare I admit it?) late afternoon. Just love it when the mailperson (! I am PC) appears at the door for something that has to be signed for at, say, 3 p.m. and there I am in all my glory.
Yes, Beppie. That always happens when I leave my jammies on!
yes, that’s the day when one of the kids breaks a finger in phys ed, you must pick up from school, go to dr, then x-ray, and you wonder why you just didn’t get that shower when the last one got on the bus. true story.
Denise
Yep. I’ve had kids break bones, knock teeth out, split chins open…always when I’m looking my worst!
This made me laugh. I’m your exact opposite, Collette. I almost never wear makeup (but I don’t have glossy hair, alas), I go out dressed in whatever I happen to have on (no, not my pajamas, and if there’s a stain on my T-shirt, I change it, but that’s about it). The only time I’ve worn more than a bit of lipstick in the last ten years is my official author photo, which I dislike because it’s not really me. My daughter said, “Mom, they hid your freckles!!”
You’re my idol, Barbara!!
I’m with you Barbara Monajem! I am usually in sweats and a tee. Wearing glasses to hide my eyes and putting my hair up in a scrunchie is all I do. I think the last time I wore makeup was at my niece’s wedding, Nov/2006. Being disabled with a wonky back and off work since Aug/2004, I don’t go out much, but when I do I judge going out by if it is bra worthy or not. If just sitting in the car where no one can see me-nope….Going into stores etc. where its not nice to see the girls swing free in their race to touch my waist band-definitely!
Bra-wrothy? I’m giggling.