Who Says Chivalry is Sexist?
Wikimedia Commons: Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court / Samuel Clemens. New York : Charles L. Webster & Co., 1889.
Please imagine me lifting my jaw off the floor after I heard this warped perception expressed by the press recently. First I gaped at the television, then I had a few choice words, which, by-the-way, my red-neck rogue hubby agreed with one-hundred percent.
Who Says Chivalry is Sexist blog post? Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Heck no, chivalry isn’t sexist and anyone who claims it is is just looking to be offended. Big surprise there.
Let’s take a closer peek at those two words, shall we?
According to Merriam Webster chivalrous is:
“acting in a honorable or polite way, especially to women/ showing respect or politeness, especially toward women.”
and sexism is:
a prejudice or discrimination based on sex, especially toward women/behaviors or attitudes that foster stereotypes
So these loonies who claim a male acting in an honorable, polite way, and showing respect, especially to women is prejudiced, discriminatory, and is fostering stereotypes?
Really?
Allow me to use few Regency terms: Codswallop, balderdash, poppycock.
I really want to use some other words but they aren’t ladylike. Wait, I bet those sexist hunters are going to hone in on that too.
So what?
Who Says Chivalry is Sexist blog post? Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
In this day and age when many people–young and old but far more younger than older from my observations–have no concept of what it means to have basic manners or show common consideration and politeness, and then some chicky-poo gets her knickers in a twist because a gentleman attempts to be courteous … well, my knickers are so twisted, I may have to see the doctor!
Where has common sense gone?
Get over yourselves and stop looking for excuses to be jerks and to be offended. You offend me when you can’t accept an innocent gesture of kindness without dragging out your feminist, sexist agendas. You want to know something? A lot of women like chivalrous men, and we don’t appreciate you beating some poor schmuck up for doing a good deed.
A man opening a door for a woman is not sexist. He’d being considerate, and by-the-way, holding the door for anyone is polite. I do it all the time.
Offering a woman your seat does not infer she’s weaker and can’t stand just as long as a man can. It means the man has chosen to put his personal needs and comfort aside so that someone else might benefit. And if I’m freezing my knick knacks off outside and hubby offers me his coat, I know it’s because he’s naturally warmer than I am all the time, he loves me, and he’s just trying to be nice.
Imagine that. People just being nice for no reason. Better call the ACLU and complain.
Who Says Chivalry is Sexist blog post? Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
When it’s common place for people to cut each other off in the freakin’ supermarket lines as well as freeways, when young men think nothing of slapping girls around, or making outrageously vulgar remarks to women of all ages, we need more chivalry, not less. We don’t need to terrorize real men who dare show gentlemanly behavior either.
My feminine ego doesn’t need boosting by rebuking, shunning, or being rude to a male who’s trying to show courteous behavior. And don’t go the other extreme either and assume he’s hitting on you because he’s being polite. He isn’t.
Who says chivalry is sexist? Not confident women.
I’d love to have you share examples you’ve seen of plain old good manners and politeness. I’ll be entering everyone who comments on my blog posts this month a chance to win a $5.00 gift card.
Love your posts, Collette.
There’s nothing wrong with chivalry, far from it. I’ve often seen older men (rarely very young ones) offer a woman standing in line at the bus stop behind them to go on first. It’s only polite. Personally, if I see an older man or woman right behind me at the bus stop, I’ll let them go in first. I always hold the door open for the people behind me, again, it’s polite and it’s what good manners mean – forget yourself and see to the others, particularly if you notice they’re in need of help. Geez! I even offered a woman who obviously was carrying bags way too heavy for her to help (mind you, the bag I took was way too heavy for me as well, but I did help nonetheless – I was glad we didn’t have to walk too far, though, because by the time we got to her place, my arms were dead). No one else offered her help for one simple reason: the woman was black. Had she been white, some of the people might have helped – but then again, maybe not as more often than not, today it’s “me, myself and I”.
Liette, I’m amazed how simple courtesy and kindness has become so rare, and then when a man tried to be polite, that any woman would leap to the conclusion he is sexist. I think those women need to get over themselves.
My husband to this day still opens my car door for me. The only time I don’t wait for that is during Texas summer days. He leaves my door open until he gets in and starts the car, then when the ac kicks in, I close it. I’m more than capable of opening doors for myself, but he’s ever the gentleman there ahead of me opening it.
Patricia, you make a good point; it’s not that women aren’t capable, of course we are, but it’s nice to have someone show us extra consideration.
Oh, brilliant post, Collette. I could not agree more. It wouldn’t hurt young women to treat one another (and their male friends) with courtesy either. Our college campuses appear to be suffering from a sever chivalry shortage.
I spent the entire day shopping with my daughter today; she’s getting ready to go on a trip overseas. I saw some lovely examples of good manners and some not so great. Not once did I hear so much as a peep about sexism though.
Wonderful post, Collette! I wholeheartedly agree. I always hold the door for others, both male and female, and lend a hand if I see someone trying to reach for/carry something and struggling. I’m proud to say my boys are both chivalrous as well. Being caring and considerate of others is something this world needs more of, not less. Rudeness and self-centeredness are much too prevalent these days.
I think you hit on something important, Kim. Isn’t it self-centered to think that an act of kindness or politeness is sexist?
I do know some teachers who are seriously trying to promote chivalry to ALL elementary aged students, boys and girls, myself included. ! I have a few boys who even have learned how to escort a “lady” back to class after recess! After they figure out what it is and the fact that someday then may need to know this for some young lady “they” are dating, they offer me their arms as we walk in!! They seem very proud of the fact that they are doing something few other 10 year olds do!! Never too young to learn manners and it is not sexist in the least.
I agree!!